Sardar’s Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Don’t Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate “Bachelor Again”.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is “Married Again”.

Tintumon:Customercare alle?ente aniyan tittu sim card vizhughi....
Girl:athinu Nyangalenthu venam
Tintumon:Avan samsarikunund.Paisa povo????

Tintu in ksrtc bus....
kayamkulam ethjiyappol tintumon :-ernakulam ethiyo?
conductor:-illa cherthala ethiyappol
tintumon:- ernakulam ethiyo?
conductor:-(deshyathode paranyu) ethumbhol parayam.
bus ernakulam vittu thrissur ethi.
conductor tintuvine villikkan marannu....
tintumon:-ernakulam anno????
conductor:-ayyo marannu poyi ernakulam kazhinyu.
yathrakar bhahalam kooti....bus ernakulathekku thirichu
conductor :-mone ernakulam ethi....
tintumon:-(chaadi eneettu bag thurannu bread eduthu kazhichukond) ernakulam ethumbhol kazhikkan amma paranyatha....


Tintumon's discovery-
Chemical name of TOILET?
Ans:-Calcium+Copper+Sulphur
(Ca+Cu+S)=CACUS
Chemistryil Tintu Puliya
Tintumon got sms from pinkimol:I hate you.
Tintumon replied:I hate U,V,W,X,Y,Z.Tintumonoda Kali.

Tintumon Pennu Kanan Poyi;
Tintu: Nee Eathu Vare Padichu
Girl:B.sc 2nd year,Chetano.?
Tintu:SSLC 4th year

Nilathu sugar veenapol tintuvinde achan:Mone velakari januvine ingottu viliche.
Tintu:Janu achan vilikunnu.
Janu:entha?
Tintu:Parjara yadikana.

Teacher:Ningal oru 3 nila ketidathil nilkukayanenu vicharikyu.Petenu ketedathinu thee pidichu.Ningal enthu cheyum?
Tintumon:Nyan apoaa vijaram nirthum....!

Tintumon: thande mole ebiku ketichu tharamo?
Father:shariyavilla,aval padichodirikukaya
Tintumon: nyan 1 hour kazhinyu varaam.padichu kazhinyaal nadathaalo....

TEACHER : “A” group blood ullavarkku “A” groupukaarude blood mathrame sweekarikkavu
“B” group blood ullavarkku “B” groupukaarude blood maathrame sweekarikkaavu
Ellavarude bloodum sweekarikkaavunnathu aarkkanu?
TINTUMON : kothukukalkku

Teacher: wat’s d difference between bus and cycle??
Tintumon:Bus varum pokum bt bus stand avide thanne kaanum….
cycleum varum pokum but cycle standum kude pokum!!!!

Teacher: Tintumon aravanannu agraham?
Tintumon: Enniku achanea pole pilot avanam
Teacher: Tintumontea achan pilot aanoo?
Tintumon: Alla achanum pilot akaanayirunnu agraham

A for Apple
B for Big Apple
C for Cheriya Apple
D for Double Apple
E for Ettavum kunji Apple
F for First parenjille aa Apple

Achen:-Result
enghane udu?
Tintumon:-fail ayi.
Achan:-Iny nee enne
ahan ennu
velekanda.
Tintumon:-athinu
ithu exam result
aanu,DNA testinte
result alla.

Teacher:-Indiayile pradhanam ayi
randu nadhigal undu.(1)ganga (2)yamuna.
Appol pakistaniloo?
Tintumon:Khadijayum
Jamilayum.

Tintu in medical shop:-Give me one ten cornerrice like.
Kadakkaran:-enthus?
Tintu:-oh english ariyilla alle.Dashamoolarishtam thado

Tintumon Maranapettu....Nalle sms harthal....Miss calukale harthalil ninum ozhivakiyatnd.Nikathan pattathavivad-Airtel,smslokathin theera nashtam-idea, tintumonde padamulla 1rupayude coupon irakum-Bsnl Enik swantham mone pole ayirunnu-sardarji,Oru nikarital enikum tintumonepole akam.

Teacher: karayilum, vallathilum jeevikkunna 5jeevikalude peru parayu?
Tintumon: 2 aama, 3 thavala


Dundumol:current poyi,fan idatte
tin2mon:venda,mezhukuthiri anayum.....



Yathrakaran to tintumon : nnku ee penangaleyokkey ninte pengalmarayi kandudey.
Tintu: shramikanjattu alla ,athu ente achan oru cheethaperavum ennu vicharichatta.......


Teacher : 2010 commonwealth games kondu namukku enthu gunam undaayi……….?
Tintumon : adutha varsham october 3nam theeyathi schoolinu avathi aayirikkum teacherey……….?
Teacher : athengane tintu……..?
Tintumon : COMMON WEALTH SHAME DAY…….!!!!!


Sasi-” neeyanalle tintumon…nee valiya hero aanennu kettu…ee palari vattam sasi oru idi idichal nee
chammandhi aayi pogum”

Tintumon-” mone sasi…ninne njan manasu vachonnu idichal pinne ninne GOOGLE il search cheydhal
polum kittilla…nee ivide pudhiya aala alle…adhu konda ninakku ariyathadhu….. ”


Doctor:”ninakkariyo???ella fruitinte tholiyilum vitamins und…..ninakkethu fruit aanishtam??”
Tintu:”Thenga”


Tintumon : Acho njan kanakku pareeksha kazhinju varikaya, enikku kumbasaarikkanam.!
Achan : Pareekshakku nee copy adicho mone?

Tintumon : Illacho, thettu cheythal kumbasaarikkanam ennalle achan parayarullath…Njan cheytha kanakku muzhuvanum tettaa…!

Teacher : Ithrayum neram njan padippichathil ninnum enthu manassilaayi?
Tintumon : Vaikunneram theerchayaayum tutionu pokanamennu manassilaayi.!!!


Tintumon: ninte text bookukal kanathayi alle?
Dundumol: aaru paranju?
Tintumon: nee innu ravile msg ayachille.. “some text missing” ennu!!


Tintu mon:hello my son today donot came to school because he have fever
techer:who are talking??
Tintumon:”MY FATHER


Tintumonte veettil kallan keri. Ithu kanda
Tintumon: Ente bagum bookum koodi kondu poda, illenkil njan ellavareyum vilichunarthum


Tintumon: Oduvil snehicha pennum enne chadichu da..
Friend: Enth patti
Tintumon: Veruthe vilichatha.. Irangi ponnu


Teacher: Namukku motta tharunna ethenkilum 4 jeevikalude peru parayu?
Tintumon jumped and said: Physics miss English miss Maths miss Social miss!!


Father: Nee aa kuttiye nokki padikkeda, Ella examilum avala First.
Tintumon: Daily avale nokkiyaacha ella subjectilum 8 nilayil pottiyadu. Iniyum achan nirbandhikkarutu.


Tintumon ambalathil vazhipad counter Q ill….
Munnile uncle: Shambhu, Thiruvatira, paalpayasam.
Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chicken biriyani…


Tintumonte Achan: Ninte progress report evideyada ?
Tintumon: Athu njan Ramuvinu koduthu.
Achan: Athenthinada ?
Tintumon: Avanu avante achane pedippickana

Oru divasam tintu mon roadil koodi pokayirunnu. Appol oru pallil achan :nee evide povuka kutti
Tintu : Kallu Shappil .
Appol achan : tintu nee kallu kudikkyaruthu .atu ninte healthinu doshama .
Tintu : Ayyo Jan shappil kudikkyan povuka alla , jan innalle nightil avide marannu vecha ente book edukkan pokua .
Achan : Aa 

Daily Needs :
Food- .......... ▀▀▀ 5%
Water- ........  ▀ 1%
Sleep-..........  ▀▀ 4%
facebook-....  ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 90%
Hit'like'if you agree
We are now ruled by

Amma in South; (Jayalalitha)
Didi in East;(Mamata Banerjee)
Behenji in North; (Mayawati)
Aunty in the Capital;(Sheila Dikshit)
Madam in Center; (Sonia)
Nani on top (the president)
& "Wife" At Home

And yet people say.. It's a Man's World!!!!!


Tintumon’s First Interview
Interviewer: “Tell me opposite words.. COOL”
Tintumon: “Hot”
Interviewer: Girl
Tintumon: “Boy”
Int: ” India ”
Tintu: ” Pakistan ”
Int: “Good Keep it up”
Tintumon: “Bad Put it down”
Int: “Stop It”
Tintumon: “Start that”
Int: “Idiot Get Out”
Tintumon: “Clever Come in”
Int: “Oh my God”
Tintumon: “Oh your devil”
Int: “I rejected You”
Tintumon: “You appointed Me”

Teacher: If you are in moon, what will be your weight
a) increase
b)decrease
c) no change
d) can not be predicted…
Tintumon: Decrease
Teacher: why
Tintumon: you will not get good food!!!


Teacher: rite a sentence ending with hand.
tintu:My penis in your hand.teacher slapped tintu.
tintu:sorry mam i forgot to put space between pen is

Q: Why are there no elephants in Bollywood?
A:They can't run around trees without knocking them down.

 The teacher asks tintumon if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four”
“What comes after six?”
“Seven”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers tintumon…


Tintumon: I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
Dundumon: So, what did you finally do?
Tintumon: I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.


Tintumon: Dad , there is a small PTA meeting at my school tomorrow …..
Dad: Tintu , What do you mean by a small PTA meeting ???
Tintumon : It is …. . Just You , me and The Principal !!!


Teacher : What is the formula of water ?
Tintumon : H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHgNiHCl(COOH)2O

Teacher : What is this ?
Tintumon : This is Corporation Water!


Dundumon : Why did you sleep with a scale ?
Tintumon : Because , I want to measure how long I have slept !!!!!!!


Tintumon is following Pinkymol …….
Pinkymol : Don't follow me . My Mother is coming behind you .
Tintumon : Don't worry . My Father is following her !!!!!!!


Tintumon’s doubt......
The black box of the Aeroplane is indestructible .
But why do they not make the Aeroplane of the same material ???


Teacher : Tintumon , You have been sending E-Mails to other Students that I am Ugly ???
Tintumon : Sorry Madam ... I didn’t realize that you wanted to Keep it a Secret …

Tintumon and Dundumon were beggars .
Tintumon : I had a grand dinner at Taj hotel yesterday .
Dundumon : How ???
Tintumon : Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday . I went to Taj hotel and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-
and enjoyed the dinner . When the bill came , I said , I had no money .
The hotel manager called the police man and handed over me to him . I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow
and he set me free.

Teacher: naan chodikuna chodiyathin aadiyam answer tharunavark veetil povaam...

Apol thane TINTUMON bag eduthu janalinte purathek ittu...

Teacher: Aaraanu bag purathek ittad...

Tintumon: naan aan teacher ini naan veetil poyikote......

TINTUMON ROCKZZZZZZZZZZZ......